The Voice - Student Newspaper

Relationships survive with technology aid

Cassie Haehl marked the beginning of her current relationship by changing her Facebook status to "In a Relationship." Haehl, an Early Education major at Glendale Community College (GCC), reacted the way that millions of other college students (and even adults well beyond their college days) do when they get into, out of or even flirt with the idea of entering into a relationship – they publish it.

Technology has never been more pervasive than it is today, and no romantic relationship escapes its grasp. The love letters of yore have mutated into text messages, web chats, Facebook wall posts and "tweeting" via Twitter, the latest social networking sensation.

Haehl and Keith Bridgeforth, a Grand Canyon University freshman and her boyfriend of one month, keep in touch using multiple technologies. "We use Facebook and cell phones," said Haehl. "Sometimes we'll talk on the phone, but mostly we text throughout the day. We also IM each other on Facebook."

A recent study by the University of Guelph showed that Facebook can be detrimental to romantic relationships by cultivating jealousy, suspicion and mistrust between partners.

Since every interaction with one's online friends is published and easily accessible to his/her significant other, even the slightest bit of flirtation or friendliness can be perceived as inappropriate and, in some cases, as infidelity.

"I think (technology) has opened up more emotional affairs," said Michelle Jackson, Communication professor at GCC. "If people are talking about their relationship with other people online and establishing that emotional connection, they might be more likely to follow through and then end up meeting in person."

Despite the hazards of jealousy and suspicion, most couples agree that the benefits of technology far outweigh the disadvantages.

Pre-dentistry student Miriam Gonzalez is a proponent of the use of technology to bolster a relationship.

She and her boyfriend Kylie Stiemsma have been together for nearly two years, nine months of which have been long-distance, as Stiemsma is attending college in Tennessee.

"My opinion is that technology needs to be used when you're in a long distance relationship. It's your only hope for making it," said Gonzalez. "But, if there is any mistrust in the relationship, then it's not worth going into it long-distance. Technology will only cause more jealousy and more distrust."

Gonzalez and Stiemsma use email, Facebook, the phone and Skype (a software application that allows users to talk on the phone or video conference over the internet) to keep in touch. Gonzalez said that they, "don't do Skype too often, but I love it when we do because not only do I get to hear him, but I also get to see him."

Jackson has also seen improvements in her communication with her husband as a result of technology, especially text messaging.

"I text my husband all day long, but we talk as much as we text," said Jackson. "Now, with texting, we probably talk more than we used to. We're able to communicate better because of it."All in all, the effects of technology and whether it is a help or a hindrance depends on the couple.

"I think that technology can help, like it has in my relationship, but it can also hurt," said Gonzalez. "Every couple is different. If there's a person that is jealous, then seeing something like being tagged (on Facebook) as 'the flirt' would increase the levels of distrust in the relationship."

Please send comments to llmemoine@gccvoice.com